Luna's Landing

Another day, another lesson learned


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5 Years: What I have Learned

On Valentines Day my husband and I will have been married for 5 years!

On that same day we will have been together for 9 years, nearly a decade….

Jason and Darcy

So here is what I have learned so far:

1. Compromises are crap. I shouldn’t have to give up on my beliefs, values, or wants in my relationship, and neither should   my partner. Instead, if we disagree I should ask him why, understand his point, and he should do the same. Together we should find a solution that works for both of us. Yes, sometimes we have to compromise, but that is never our goal.

2. Your partner should not be your best friend. This sounds terrible right? Its not. In today’s relationships we expect too much from our spouses. They have to be our intimate partner, our best friend, our caregiver, our therapist. This is too much to ask for from one person. My partner plays many roles for my family and I, and my best friend plays different roles for us, and I like it that way. Want another opinion on this? Click here!

3. Do not compare your marriage to others. I learned this from a good friend. This friend is a transgender woman, married to another wwedding2oman. They are the epiphany of different, and yet they are the most loving, most caring and beautiful couple I have ever met. My marriage is my own. We are different, we go through different stages at different times, and we happy that way. We do not own a home, we do not have a ton of married friends, we do not go on date nights once a week. We do what we think is right at the right times, and that is ok!!

4. Stop mind reading. Or at least stop pretending that you can. You do not know anyone in the world well enough to read their mind. When you are in an argument, or any tense situation, do not assume that you know what they are thinking. Instead, do this simple thing called asking. Communication is key, we all know it, but we don’t do it. Ask what they think, how they feel, and why they feel this way. Listen. Put yourself in their position, and then reconsider attacking back. This doesn’t mean you don’t have feelings, it is just acknowledging that they do.

5. Get naked when you are arguing. Seriously. Try it. Life Changing. Here are some more tips on arguing effectively.

6. The loss of passion does not equal the loss of compassion. Passion dies out. Many people do not want to believe this. But it does, and that is ok! You may go a while with no passion, and then you have a spike in your marriage filled with passion, then again maybe you don’t. One thing to remember is that you still have compassion for each other. You still care for them, you still love them, but you are freed from they anxiety that comes with the thought of separation from your partner. Its a beautiful thing really!

While 5 years has nothing on 25 or 30 years, I have still learned a lot! Here is to another 5 years of craziness!

wedding

OH YEA!


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Blogging: Why and How for SPC 213

So why do we blog? What is the purpose?

According to Sara Kjellberg, a blogging researcher, scholars blog to share, to have a place to be creative, and to feel connected.

According to NY Times, businesses blog to build their social media footprint, establish their brands, and position themselves in an area of expertise. Ny Times also said that blogging may even be the most effective social media tool for businesses to use!

But why should students blog? Start out by doing a little research yourself. Go ahead, google “why should college students blog?” You will find things such as:

  • Improving writing skills
  • Building confidence
  • Improving online visibility
  • Preparing for a career
  • Stress and creative release

So now that you know why, here are a few tips…

Image: masmettnn

Image: masmettnn

Blogs are not papers. Do not write in long paragraphs. People have short attention spans… how much have you skipped in this post already??

Use images. Again, short attention! We like pictures, they are fun, and help get the point across. They also make it seem like there isn’t so much writing.

Proofread. Then proofread again. Nohing is worse then bad gramer… seriously… You want to look professional.

Pick creative titles. Because “Blog 1” does not catch anyone’s attention.

Choose a topic that interests you. If it is not interesting to you, it will not be interesting to your reader. You have to write these blogs, so have fun with them. Find something that relates to your major, a piece of current news that captured your attention, or something that inspired you today!

Writing a blog, believe it or not, can become a hobby that helps you land a job. So with that, good luck, I look forward to reading your blogs!


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Saving Money While in Grad School?????

Is it possible??

Here is what I have found out…

To start off, I would like to share a little back story..

I met my husband when I was 14. We were high school sweethearts! I took college classes in high school, and graduated high school early to keep up with him (cus we were so in love… bawww). I was in college for 4 years. In those four years my husband and I got married, and had two children. I missed one week worth of class for each child (while still breastfeeding!), and have never taken a summer off. I am now in my second year of my master’s program, and again took summer classes. I am a teaching assistant for my university, in which I get to teach the classes entirely on my own. My tuition is waved for my masters, but I had to take out student loans all four years of my bachelors.

I have lots of student debt… but i am not scared!!!

So here we are now.

My husband and I have now been together for nearly 9 years, and we are ready to buy a home, and stop living pay check to pay check.

If we want to start living this way once I graduate, we have to start saving now… like this very second.

Let me let you in on a little secret… I do research for a living.. I am pretty good at it… so I have done my homework here. I wanted to know:

How can I save each month?

Can I get a home loan with student debt?

What are banks looking at when they assess you for a home loan?

How much of a home loan can I afford?

And of course…. what kind of jobs can I get with a master’s degree in human communication (research focus on the LGBTQ community).

There are a bazillion tips out on the interweb on how to save money, but about for every 1,000 tips, I can use 1. Well, one is better than zero right?

So here are my tips after much research:

1. Write down your finances. Every penny. Start off with delegating your bills out to each pay check. For example: my charter and electric bill come out of my first check each month. My rent comes out of my last check each month. Next, total up how much you make and subtract how much you spend on bills, gas, and groceries. How much do you have left?? Can you put 10, 20, 30, 50% of your leftovers into savings? If so, do it!!

2. Bite the buck and buy groceries, lots of them. Get the kind of groceries that you make meals from scratch. You would be amazed at how much this will save you. Also, always make a little extra to take to work with you for lunch the next day. Eating a brown bag lunch every day will save you hundreds!! Also, buy store brand… you wont taste the difference. Remember, these meals do not have to be betty Crocker, just a filling meal. Extra tip: Aldi’s has the cheapest veggies, and Walmart has the cheapest chicken!

3. Get netflix… so this is $10 a month, how will that save me money?? Well a movie ticket is also $10.00 and it is just one part  of entertainment for one night!! Instead of going out with friends, invite them over, have everyone bring a snack to share, you can make some from your groceries, and watch a movie on netflix. Not enough? Start watching series on netflix that you can get addicted to. I like Walking dead, Lost, Downton Abbey, and a few more. Wanting to watch the next episode may keep you in and save you on gas, food, a movie ticket and more. Maybe you can get some class work done between as well!!

4. Stop using credit cards. If you can not afford it when you swipe it, you can not afford it. If you can not afford it, you will pay payments. If you pay payments, you are paying interest. If you are paying interest, you are spending more and more and more. Stop it.. now. Its a slippery slope…

5. Do not clip coupons. These are scams… did you know that??? “What a great deal!! $1.00 off something I wont need for three months, then I will forget I have it!” or “$2.00 off 2 of the same thing, I will have to get that, even though I have never used this brand before and would not have bought it if I never had a coupon.” No… Just no. You are spending more than you would have if you never had the coupon. If it is for free… fine, use it. If it is for something you buy regularly and you need, use it. Otherwise, THROW IT AWAY!!

6. Call your tv service and electric company. Are you paying the lowest rate you could be paying? Probably not. Charter reduces my bill every time I call.. I call about once every 6 months. Most electric companies can give you a set rate on your bill each month; is it lower than what you are paying now? If so, take advantage of that!!!

These are my 6 golden tips for now. I am hoping to find more!! I am saving a lot each month just by following these tips.

Do you have any more tips? Comment them below!

Do you want me to write tips on the other areas I have been researching? Leave me a comment, I will get to it ASAP!!!

Thanks for reading!